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Exposures

It was the same field of glaciers we’d always hike up to, our packs stuffed with familiar necessities: beer, bacon, steaks, more beer, mild hallucinogens (that was only once, stewed into hamburger helper, and it would have been rude to say no and after all, it smelled delicious, and that was the night I spotted a passing fleet of UFOs).

All things sure to attract good times and ravenous, post-hibernatory black bears alike (rocket scientists, the lot of us).

We’d hike to the top of the mountain in the heat of summer, set up camp at the base of the glacier and watch as building-sized chunks of ice would crack free of the mother like the blow from a cannon and tumble down the snowfield, ass over teakettle, to rest at the top of where the rock began.

We’d stomp up higher through knee-deep snow to where we could crawl under the lip of the ice and feel its ancient drips on our backs. Then in the midday sun we’d sometimes strip down, sometimes not, and boot-glissade down the steep, smooth snow, soak hot, stifled feet in rushing creeks, scramble atop giant boulders to take in the view of a trio of brilliantly clear emerald lakes.

We’d curl up, backs against trunks and down sleeping bags cinched up around our noses in front of a fire, experience-drunk and giggling, convinced that everything we ate — crackers with peanut butter, instant oatmeal, tuna from the can, mr. noodle — was surely the finest fare in the whole province that night.

On one trip the film advancer of my point-and-shoot broke. Unknowing, I kept snapping. When the pictures came back there was accidental art: five exposures on one frame, the print just rediscovered.

aug29-07.jpg

  1. Left of centre there’s a back view of me, hair freshly cropped to the skull for the first and last time, peeling off sweaty clothes at the lakeshore;
  2. At the centre is me moments later, crouched at the water's edge and about to jump in (followed by screaming, and flailing, and chattering back to shore);
  3. To the right edge are friends Matt and Daphne, resting halfway up the trail;
  4. Just to the left of Daphne’s head, faintly, is Justin glissading down the snowfield; and
  5. To the far left is all four of us standing in front of the glacier cliff, which runs the breadth of the shot.

We didn’t have much money. We lived in illegal basement apartments. We were living though, so vividly and so freely that I can’t help but smile to remember it.

Now, we’re all parents. Daphne and Matt are visiting from Vancouver and they stayed here for a couple of days, gave us (particularly Evan) ample opportunity to fall head-over-heels in love with their girl Sadie.

There’s an immense, chewy satisfaction about making this transformation alongside dear friends who were there when we were all just us. We watch each other as mothers and fathers, grinning widely, content to let our kids be cooler than us, tipsy in the thick of toddler adoration.

Indescribably happy times ten years ago, and indescribably happy times two days ago. Life explosions and upheaval and flotsam resettling in between the two, changing everything, but no one minding a bit that a cheerio-littered floor lies at our feet rather than emerald water that sparkles with glass-like brilliance.


Posted on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 by Registered Commentersweetsalty kate in | Comments34 Comments

Reader Comments (34)

The drunken joy of watching our children far outweighs those inebriated adventures before they were in our lives, do they not? :)

I do love to reminisce about the "old days" and will one day share some wild stories with my daughters. When they are grown. ha!
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJennboree
Everything you write makes my eyes well up. I've been reading since Sweet Juniper pointed in your direction, and every post you've made rings so true, describes some vital and overwhelming aspect of being human. Wow.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNancy
Wow. It's wonderful to feel like you are taking the same steps as your favorite peers. What a cool shot!
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLeann I Am
Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes.

(Not nearly enough of my friends have become parents yet, and I've become that annoying breeder who asks too often "are you thinking of having kids?" or "when are you going to have kids?"--I know I'm craving more of those special moments rolled up and stacked upon the shorthand of long-term friendships.)
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterm
Beautifully written and oh HOW TRUE! When I catch myself wishing for the days of freedom and minimal responsibility, all I have to do is glance at my children, to knock the sense back into my thick head. This, THIS is what it's all about.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJuJuBee
This is so true. I love spending time with the friends that knew me in the before kids era. It makes enjoying eachother now all the sweeter.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAlly
I say the best friends are the friends that can go from parties to parenthood and still love you!
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterWen
you've got to love when the camera gets into the mushrooms too.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermoeberg
you don't have to justify your drug use, kate. we all know you're a hopelessly strung-out druggie. ...KIDDING...I don't have kids yet but I hope that when I do, I'll carry some of my college-age, rocket-scientist, fun-having, etc, friends into the fray with me and we can all party it up with the toddlers like you guys.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermfk
Wow, my hiking/camping trips weren't even close to as exciting and adventurous as yours! The montage is groovy, girl.But, those little kids in all their head-shaking joy? That's bliss there.xoxo
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh
ah dude. the glacier sounds and looks like so much fun...as do the past two days. it is a lucky thing to find yourself again in the eyes of old friends, transformed but still recognizable, joyous, and capable of being vivid in moments...
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBon
i don't often comment though i read every word. this post was magic, i've been there and miss there and the magic behind the magic (what you captured in that picture, one shoe off and all) is exactly what draws me in.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjen
What a beautiful post! It is indescribable to share parenthood with those that we use to "be cool" with. Your post puts it all into words perfectly. I envy your hiking trips. I think the last mountain I hiked was Stone Mountain in Atlanta, GA....nice experience but pales in comparison. I hope I raise my kids to be more adventuresome :)

much love,ashley
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterashley in SC
How so cool to share this reflection. We do not have any friends in our current place of abode who've shared the experience of childhood with us. All are still unmarried much less with children. It's wonderful to be able to see yourselves reflected through the eyes of old, true friends - those who knew you when you chopped off your hair, and those who support you now, years later, through it all. Cheers - a great post -
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna
Sadie and Evan are very lucky kids to have such strong friend connections already at such a young age! They will be life long friends, no doubt about that!The picture was fascinating to say the least - how several moments blended together that way...what a momento to cherish...I too had some of the same moments - living on ramen noodles in the mountains of colorado - 20 miles from civilization and those mt. hikes up those fourteeners always had a partial descent on Glad Trashbags. My ass hated it, but boy did I feel free and never had a single injury - heck, I couldn't! I couldn't afford insurance then, but I always had mother-nature taking good care of me on those wild adventures. I'll tell you about my bear visit at Denali next time!:)
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChristine
I could just watch videos of Ben for hours...the pure, unadulterated happiness, the giggling, that awesome smile. He is priceless. That pic is amazing too, it almost seems like it was composed intentionally...very cool.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterandrea
I was just reading through some of your posts. Your writing is honest and beautiful.



August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJanet
I wish I was watching a video of Evan and Connor...*sigh*I am so glad that Daphne, Matt and Sadie came to visit. Nothing like seeing friends...good friends. I bet they are having a really good time and glad to see you and Jus and finally meet Evan and Ben.

Here's hoping we get out there soon.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Falconer
Could it possible be?? Soul mates at such a young age?? Understanding each other's humor is half the battle, everything else just falls into place :-)

The joys of becoming parents, and having good friends to share it with. Unfortunately, John's friends all have older kids- the downfall to marrying someone so much older. And as for mine, well as soon as I seem to make good friends and have children, we end up moving someplace else... oh well. At least we will stay put for now :-)
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChrista
You're such a good writer. Thanks for sharing this.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNichole
SO sweet and you are right about those you have experienced life together with pre-parentood on into the thick of it... truly is an experience - AND a good one at that! :) those friends get a picture of you that most others just don't understand. they KNOW you best, i think. your words have captured it well. AND, i loved the crazy 5-exposure shot. that was awesome! thanks for sharing kate...
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHeather ~ Traub Tribe
It's so funny to hear someone else say that about having short hair. I too cut my hair pixie-style one time, a few months after my wedding, and immediately began growing it long again. Whenever I see women with hip, short haircuts I think "wow, she is so *sassy*! so cool!" and yet I felt neither of those things when I had mine short. I've learned I am a pony-tail, flip-flops, (or sometimes muck boots) type of girl.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRachell
we could have camped together well.

i am moving to a place where friends, much like yours, with history you share, are moving as well. they just arrive at our destination in WA. They just blissfully informed me they are having a baby.

This is what i have been looking forward to for years. To experience this newness with those i have such oldness with. it is so powerful and....such fun.

mb
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermb
That photo is (accidentally) incredible!
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterslouching mom
in hamburger helper? ewwwwwwwwwww.
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkimblahg
Kate, your writing just blows me away. It completely covers the intricate contours of friendships that have grown up together. It was such a joy to ruminate on these words.ps-- your writing just blows me away.

:)
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterstephanie Sicore
sticky toddler giggles...beats barbituates any day, and is just as addictive and mind altering!

August 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterEmily
I think it's easy to get addicted to the high-adventure type experiences you're writing about - climbing mountains and amazing backcountry trips... but then you forget how awesome lower-key adventures are too. So many of my best childhood memories are from simple outdoor trips - and they still outshine backbacking in BC and Alberta as an adult.

Since we're moved away from Vancouver we're missing out on getting together with old friends in new stages (although my best friends are a bit behind us on the kids-front) - but one of the blessings of having a kid is how easy it is to meet new friends. We're loving camping trips with other families and just playing in the park...
August 29, 2007 | Unregistered Commentertrish
kimblahg - I have to agree, even though I did eat it. I'm such a hopeless square, it was the only way I would ever be able to ingest such a substance without coughing or yacking like a little girl.

Besides, being out-of-doors makes everything taste fabulous, remember?
August 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commentersweetsalty kate
oh the headshakes. always a good time.

Sometimes it's nice to grow up, isn't it? I miss the newness somedays, but I missed having a doughy familiarity back then.



August 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterthordora
It WOULD have been rude to say no.

Hehehe...

So often in life, hindsight is 20/20. An appreciation and love for things past. A blessed few live and breathe in the here and now, and appreciate it in the moment.

Mama, you are one such person. Good for you.

*raising my ice cold Yuengling*



August 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHMFT
you didn't eat it. in hamburger helper well yuck. I had a mountain goat friend who used to present them in fine dark chocolate.. the only way to go!

-- but I was only slightly less a square.

chewy! that one make me smile.
August 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermo-wo
You're such a gifted writer. I really loved this post. And I really loved the exposed picture find. That was a treat!
September 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMandy
It seems like only yesterday we were trudging up that mountain, (trying to keep up with Jusin) mesmerized at the experience (it is still our most favourite camping trip, EVER) and greatful for having such amazing friends who know of such a special place. Wow, our lives have changed but not our friends and that is the sign of a true friendship - and I thank you for that. Our trip home only reminded me again how badly we need to move back East so we can share more weekends together. Seeing Evan and Sadie running, laughing and even shouting, "It's MY turn!" was so special; plus, these early memories gives us things to put in our speeches on their wedding day. Sadie asked to see photos of Evan before going to daycare today - so I had to promise her we'd watch (once again!) the video of their head shaking in your kitchen. She is clearly in love.

Thank you for the post Kate, it is of course, one of my favs. :-) Gotta go, with each post/comment I read/write come the tears and since I'm at work I'd like to avoid that...

love, daph xox
September 11, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdaphne

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