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Inspiration begets inspiration

I first mentioned our incredibly fit, glowing, yogic friend, in this post. Cathy recently sent me an email, part of which follows with her blessing:

I think if you polled my friends, they would not tell you that motherhood came naturally to me. It cut me up into little pieces, chewed and chewed, swallowed me up, and spit me out again. I became reformed, reborn, reconstructed in motherhood. I did not know how my kids would turn out: but really, I had no choice but to do the things I did because I was a follower of my heart. If you don't follow your heart in this work, you are lost. You know this is true.

Here is something I feel I proved to myself about motherhood that I will share with you. If you really want your kids to live a happy, fulfilled, wonderful life, you have to live this way yourself. They have to grow up around people who are doing it, and then they will pick up on how it's done. You have no doubt recognized that saying 'don't do this' and 'don't do that' is useless. Babies, even from the womb, have been watching and listening, developing their own cues for management.

If you don't believe a wonderful life is possible, then your kids won't believe it either, unless they are lucky to learn it from others. Kids are so damn intuitive! You cannot fool them one bit! So to be a good parent, you have to live all your dreams, have social consciousness, love, laugh…


What Cathy wrote makes me bubble and stew in a most wonderful way.

First—the presence of self-doubt indicates a soul that aspires. If I was completely, blindly confident—buried all insecurity, never mulled on anything—I’d be mediocre by default, frozen in perfect paralysis for the rest of my life. If we pay attention, doubt always tells us what to do. Even if it’s not what the books and the bystanders say. That’s heart-following.

And second—from the moment I learned I was pregnant, the only instinctual truth I knew was that everything of me would be transmitted across the uterine wall. Food and drink. Sensation and emotion. If I indulged melodrama or tension or bitterness or frustration, so would he. I favour nurture over nature: the peace and respect we give him will help him to grow into a peaceful and respectful man. It was a truth that guided my pregnancy more profoundly than whole grains, kegels and folic acid combined.

Pregnancy past, our home is now the womb. This sets the unspoken rules and rituals of our house—sometimes effortless to follow, sometimes not. But we try. We want a son full of awareness and possibility and gratitude and zest. So we must be ourselves.

That’s the great thing about inspiration. It’s contagious.


Posted on Thursday, September 7, 2006 by Registered Commentersweetsalty kate in | Comments4 Comments

Reader Comments (4)

What a lovely email your friend Kathy wrote. And you turned it into such a living piece with your own experience. How gripping and raw and achingly true to realize, in a conscious way, that everything we do, every word we say and every way we honor or don't ourselves is being absorbed by our children. That we teach them most when we are unaware of it. In so many ways, motherhood has woken me up to myself. And if you are brave enough to actually WAKE UP as a mother, it is a terribly painful but utterly fulfilling process. And to me, it has looked nothing like nothing I ever expected! To open up, wake up, to empty ourselves of previous notions and live in the moment is such a gift that comes from the humble path that is parenthood. Thank you for sharing her wisdom - and yours - for I yearn to find other mothers who inspire and live the process without veils of artificial sentimentality or the reverse, as a badge of martyrdom that they can't escape. But to just be in the moment and be a follower of one's heart.

Two other things: First, I love the berry picking photos of your guys...the rubber boots, the lush green vines, the big man & little man walking. You must live in one of the most romantic, dramatic, beautiful places on earth! Second, I am still trying to find you a Bob Marley t-shirt. When I do, I'll need your address to mail it to you. What size? 2T? Let me know.

cheers,Brooke
September 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke
Good point Brooke - to say they absorb how we *don't* honour ourselves. And our partners too..

Sometimes I forget how lucky we are to live here. It is beautiful. We're usually very sad missing our life out west in the mountains, we often take the ocean and the cragginess of nova scotia for granted. I only wish I could see california properly! Maybe someday.

I'll email you about the t-shirt - what a treat! :) I'll have to see what I can do in return, something from berry-land for satch. :)Kate
September 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKate
I loved this so much. What a perfect reminder for all of us. Thanks fo sharing your thoughts and those of your sage mommy-friend.
October 2, 2006 | Unregistered Commentertracey
Such good thoughts, such good points! I will have to remind myself of this. :) Again and again.
January 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

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